We are CHAD.
Megan Amram grew up in Portland, Oregon, where she and her twin brother made up a secret twin language called “Spanish.” She is a writer for Parks & Recreation and can bend plastic spoons with her mind.
David Dineen-Porter is from Canada, a nearby planet with an Earth-like atmosphere. He performs regularly as part of acclaimed comedy collective Laugh Sabbath, and co-hosts popular alternative comedy night, Don’t Get Bored of Us And Leave.
Bryan Cook is the host and creator of Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction, presented every month at the esteemed Nerdmelt Theater in LA, as well as all over the US. In his spare time, he crushes pussy.
Andrew Dickson is a performer, professor and professional ad man. He's been experimenting with the dark arts of PowerPoint since the late 1990s, creating lectures, one-man shows, and even touring internationally with his slide show tour de force AC Dickson: eBay PowerSeller. He will never, ever use Keynote. Or that thing in Google Documents.
Stephanie Purtle is Vice President of Community Rehabilitation Action Projects — C.R.A.P. — for Viacom: your friendly neighborhood media conglomerate. Stephanie is responsible for implementing strategic initiatives to rehabilitate communities through active visioning service projects to innovate and expound upon the already present potential in said communities. Through brain-works powers in conjunction with spirit animal-esque divining rods, Stephanie promotes new applications of corporate certitude in the overall creative imagining of our society that is in line with the goals and values of Viacom: your friendly neighborhood media conglomerate.
Mark Russell is a writer and cartoonist living in Portland, Oregon. He has no wife or kids, but makes up for it with lots of plants. He has written a book about the Bible called God Is Disappointed in You, which will be released in the spring of 2013 by Top Shelf Productions.
Are you impaled by a pruning hook? Eviscerated by a moor's scimitar? Haunted by demons? Then help has arrived! Peter Fontenou (aka Philip Schallberger) of the Yorkshire Center for Medical Practices and Distillation is here to solve all of your woes! Using cutting edge fourteenth century medicine, Peter will show you how to solve all known ailments of the body and the spirit, many times using materials found in your very own hovel or ground hut! No more will you be harangued by malicious bees, or blinded from drinking pond water. Say goodbye to an Irishmen's hexes or the curse of free thought! This presentation is meant for the average serf or peasant rabble, as it improves survivalbility without increasing uppityness!
Carl Sagan is a tireless citizen of the Cosmos. His goal is to promote world peace for a majority of the human species, and to help foster a science related understanding of things that happen or are simply there. After studying physics at Yale, Oxford, Science, MIT and Harvard Universities and having earned his doctorate in public speaking at SDSU, he has gone on to become an internet sensation both loved and recognized throughout the greater Portland area. Carl currently resides with several dogs, a wife, and his lovely tomato garden in El Centro, CA.
Lance Banks wasn’t born rich, he was re-born rich. Super rich. Think about that for a moment. Now think about this: what’s stopping you from giving birth to the new you? Now pause for effect. Sounds like what you need is a comprehensive total life system to machete your path to success.
Let LanceLife be your machete, not literally because the subtropic undergrowth you need to hack away is only figurative, but that figurative subtropic undergrowth is literally obstructing your trail to a better life.
Famous Author Mykle Hansen is colorless, odorless and tasteless. As the writer of such Bizarro classics as HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! and HOORAY FOR DEATH!, his fame spans both months and feet. As a public speaker, he has toured the entire west coast of the upper-mid portion of much of North America to inform and educate the public about the many exciting crises available to them.
Carrie Twoterm is a sometime comedian and onetime child of an anti-abortion activist. She considers herself pro-life and anti-birth. She likes omelets, horror movies, and pre-Runaway Jury John Grisham novels.
MARK SALTVEIT is the author of "A Man, A Plan, 2002: The Year in Palindromes", and was recently named World Palindrome Champion by Will Shortz, the New York Times Crossword Puzzle editor. His name, spelled backwards, is legion.