Posts Tagged “Affordable”

Introducing CHADBOT!

CHADBOT on wheels!

Mining Asteroids For Knowledge: CHAD Institute plans lofty space venture!

Live PowerPoint presentation from Asteroid DA14 on January 31st!

First infotainment mission in space will feature talking robot, PowerPoint, beverages, snacks.

PORTLAND, EARTH: Today, the Center for Humorism and Amusement Dynamics announced plans to launch an experimental spacecraft, CHADSAT 4, to rendezvous with a giant asteroid that will zoom past Earth in mid February.

The spacecraft — said to be roughly as small and uncomfortable as a mid-80's Japanese hatchback — will blast off on the evening of January 31st, coinciding with "Space CHAD", the fourth trimonthly CHAD Conference held at the Jack London Bar in Portland, Oregon.

"The mission of CHAD is to astonish human minds," explained CHAD Chief Scientist Mykle Hansen at a press conference in Baikonur, Oregon, "using loud noises and bright, blinking lights. Spaceships have tons of that stuff!"

CHADSAT 4 will be the first spacecraft launched by a non-profit; its development was funded entirely through Kickstarter, a series of bake sales, and what Hansen called "a solid partnership with our major creditors, the Discover Card — It Pays To Discover!"

In another first, the low-budget space mission will be piloted and narrated by an intelligent guidance/entertainment system called CHADBOT, that is able to communicate its feelings via Skype. "CHADBOT may not be the first autonomous space robot," said Hansen, "but we are confident he will be the snarkiest."

The robot will maintain two-way communication with the CHAD Conference, allowing attendees to follow its progress toward the icy space-rock known as 2012 DA14. This asteroid, discovered early last year by astronomers in Spain, will pass closer to earth than any extrasolar object ever tracked. Recent orbital calculations by NASA scientists have allayed concerns that the asteroid might strike Earth.

"That means it won't hit us," noted Hansen. "'Allayed' means 'made okay.'"

Upon arrival, CHADBOT will orbit the asteroid, sample its core, and distribute space-merch. The entire mission will be presented live via video at SPACE Chad, along with the main program of satirical slideshows from local comedians, writers and space experts including Andrew Dickson, B. Frayn Masters, Wm. Steven Humphrey, Danny Norton, Scott Rogers, and Whitney Streed.

A limited number of tickets to SPACE Chad are still available via Brown Paper Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/315070 . Doors open at 8:00pm, and CHADSAT 4 blasts off at 8:30.

The CHAD Institute is a non-profitable consortium for the blowing of minds through technology. Learn more at http://thisischad.com .

More information about 2012DA14, the asteroid that will probably not kill us: http://earthsky.org/space/asteroid-2012-da14-will-pass-very-close-to-earth-in-2013

CHAD Chats: The Future Of Soon!

FOR IMMEDIATE, PASSIONATE RELEASE

CHAD Chats — The Future Of Soon!

Thursday, May 17, 8pm
@ The Jack London Bar
529 SW 4th Ave, Portland, OR

CHAD Chats are back! The CHAD Institute — a not-yet-profitable foundation dedicated to expanding and collapsing the human mind — returns with an all-new evening of satirical PowerPoint presentations from some of the finest minds in Humor, Science, Literature, Infotainment and Other Important Subjects.

  • Comedian and World Palindrome Champion MARK SALTVEIT will audiovisualize "The Mystical History of Palindromes: Revelations of Sotadic Truth."
  • Local pro-life advocate CARRIE TWOTERM (assisted by Whitney Streed) will engage in a scientific, religious, and dialectic discussion with herself entitled "Where Babies Come From, Where They Go When They Die, and Why This All Is Your Fault."
  • Magician JUSTIN HANES will delve into the science of non-science with "Tomorrow's Yesterday: Why Alastair Crowley Was Right."
  • Global inspiration pioneer and internal power mentor LANCE BANKS—creator of LanceLife, the Comprehensive Total Life System—will wow the unwowed with his motivational presentation “Let’s Get Down to Business.
  • World-renowned astrophysicist and beloved internet meme CARL SAGAN (channeled by Christian Ricketts) returns with a fresh slideshow on "The Importance of Science in our Daily Lives."
  • Famous author MYKLE HANSEN will introduce the presenters, present the introducers, and master ceremoniously throughout the evening.

At CHAD Chats enlightenment, endrinkenment and enlaughenment are scientifically assured! Presentations begin promptly at 8pm on Thursday, May 17th at The Jack London Bar, located at 529 SW 4th Ave in the basement of the Rialto Poolroom. $5 – $10 sliding scale admission. Music and stimulating chit-chat to follow the show.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, contact mykle (at) mykle.com or streed.jokes (at) gmail.com, follow @thinkchad on Twitter, or navigate to our interweb sitenet at www.thisischad.com .